I think for a long time I have held people back

I dont know when i truly realized it, but i think it was when K and T had their get together for me and invited my friends and we laughed and drank and just enjoyed being together.

Thats what friends are....a weird realization to have at age 24...and its not like ive never had friends i think ive just always held them at arms length, i moved to the mountains right after high school and didnt really feel the need to keep more that one or two people close and then when i moved back it was with a guy whose sole purpose in life was being a bum.....to be fair he was a great guy, good heart just some questionable habits and priorities

My parents never really were mean or unkind to any of the boyfriends i had...In high school alooooot lol it must have been going to an all girls school, i was really self concious in high school and obsessed over straighting my hair and doing my makeup and looking back i really didnt need to and wasted alot of time by doing that but thats just one of the things about life i guess you experience what you experience.

So now i feel like im building this great support system of people who i care about and who care about me and its just weird to think ive never missed not having that. I love that i have it now though and im truly going to do my part in making those friendships grow. Wow this post was somewhat cheesy today lol I got a really nice baskert of flowers yesterday from four friends though so im in a cheesy happy mood its nice havent had a cheesy day for a while. Anyways gotta go clean the kitchen.....I wonder whether theres a point in life you enjoy cleaning and doing laundry bc i hate doing it now!

Keep Smiling!

S.